


Party Until Dawn

by SickofEveryone



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: F/M, NO HORROR, just a lot of happy endings because I really like the characters, ugh Sienna I wish you didn't follow me I am trash
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-14
Updated: 2016-11-27
Packaged: 2018-08-30 22:24:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,581
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8551489
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SickofEveryone/pseuds/SickofEveryone
Summary: So, I really like the characters of Until Dawn, and I was left with just wanting everything to turn out alright for everyone. Which led me to write a non-horror alternative, in which nothing goes wrong and it's just ten wild kids having a good time with absolutely no wendigos/psychos/dying teens at all whatsoever. Everyone is sane and nobody is hurting. It's just a good time. Also I highkey ship Josh and Sam sans terrible things going on, so it's probably going to be that ship-centric, but it's about everyone.





	1. Why is the route to the lodge so long?

**Sam**

The bus ride up to Mt. Blackwood was slow and boring, but Sam didn’t mind. She appreciated having alone time with her thoughts and her music, not to mention the beautiful—if not slightly worrisome—scenery. The snow was picking up, and she knew it would still be a long while ‘til she’d get off the bus, let alone make it to the lodge. Oh well. She’d enjoy the heater on the bus for as long as she could. Looking up at the familiar mountain, she thought back on the last time she was up there.

Her friends had pulled a stupid prank on her best friend, Hannah. Hannah had a huge crush on Mike, the class president and hunk, and they tricked her into nearly stripping for him. She was so upset when she found out that she ran out of the lodge and into the woods, her twin sister Beth following close behind. It was a couple of hours before they got back, and Sam was worried sick. She’d yelled her throat raw at everyone—Mike and Emily especially—and at some point in the night had to get physically restrained by Chris from going out after them. When the twins finally stumbled back through the lodge door, Sam rushed to Hannah’s side to find that her eyes were puffy and red. Actually, her face was red. She looked freezing. The girls had been out in the snow for two hours with one jacket between the two of them. Sam was livid. She made everyone else leave as she went to grab blankets and fix up some hot cocoa, and she sat with the Washington sisters (and technically  their brother Josh, but he was passed out at the time and Sam decided that only conscious members of their mini party counted) through the rest of the night.

The weekend didn’t end there, of course. There were arguments and tears and apologies, but everyone ended on mostly good terms. Sam wondered, as she rode up the mountain, what kind of drama would befall her this year.

It was dark by the time Sam reached the path to the cable car station. She neglected to bring a flashlight, and the mountain—while beautiful—was eerie to walk up alone. The large gate was a welcome sight, reminding her that she wasn’t aimlessly wandering the woods but was, in fact, heading to a lodge with heating. As she approached the gate, though, she could make out a shite note attached to it. She picked it up and read it. _The gate’s busted, Climb over! -Chris. _“What? Dammit,” she muttered under her breath, and turned to the stone wall bordering the gate _._ Without thinking twice, she hoisted herself up to the snowy top of the wall and jumped off the other side.

Beyond the gate, her path was lit up with the yellow glow of electric lamps, a warm contrast to the blue light of the mountain. The whole place was beautiful. The sides of the path were lush with trees covered delicately in snow, and the air was cold and crisp. It was also full of wildlife, too (when she was younger, she and Josh tried to catch and ride a deer while Hannah gaped and Beth laughed at their idiocy), and a squirrel crossed her path. Sam reached down to greet it. “Aww… Hey, little fella. “She dug into her pocket for her leftover trail mix and offered it to the squirrel. “You hungry?” She held her breath and stayed perfectly still as the squirrel approached her and took a nut from her hand. She laughed gently. “Cutie,” she commented, as the squirrel ran off.

When she reached the cable car station, she found herself slightly disappointed to find it empty, but found Chris’s backpack sitting on a bench outside it. “Chris…? Are you here? Your bag’s here, where are you? You’re not _in_ the bag, are you?” she called. Sam approached the backpack and jumped slightly when a phone vibrated in the front pocket and slipped out. “Hello, what do we have here?” she asked herself. Her hand lingered over the backpack for a moment before putting the phone back inside and zipping up the backpack. “Maybe I shouldn’t poke around in Chris’s stuff.” She looked up and called out again. “Chris?”

“Sam! Hey!” Sam turned around to look at her friend. He had short hair, glasses, and a toothy comical grin. He hadn’t changed much since the last time she’d seen him. Chris was upbeat and funny, which made his company nice. “Oh! So! I found something kinda amazing…” He said, crossing over to his backpack and slinging it over his shoulder.

“What?”

“I’m not gonna tell you. You gotta see for yourself.” Chris began walking and waved Sam along to follow him. “Come on, it’s this way.”

“Where?”

“Right around here,” Chris told her, cornering around the station. “Gonna _blow_ your _mind._ ” They quietly circled the building, and when they reached the back end, he walked up to a long thing counter with roofing over it—and a few guns. _A shooting range_. He turned to face Sam and waved jazz hands. “Ta-da! Pretty rad, right?”

Sam looked it over. “Yeah,” she exclaimed with fake enthusiasm.

“Come on! Look at these beauties,” Chris implored, gesturing to the rifles.

“Uh… ‘Beauties’ is not the word that comes to mind. Why is this even here?” she asked.

“What do you mean?”

“What the hell is a shooting range doing at the base of a ski lodge?”

“Uh… dude. Have you ever met Josh’s dad?”

“Yeah…?”

“He thinks he’s, like, Grizzly Adams or something.” Chris held up a gun. “Wanna try?”

Sam shook her head. “Uh, no. You go ahead, Grizzly,” she said light-heartedly.

**Chris**

Chris turned to the range. “Alright, here goes.” He pointed the gun at the various sacks and cans put up as targets in front of him. The metal was freezing against his bare hands. He was eager to show off and live up to the sarcastic title of Grizzly Adams. 

“Wow,” said Sam. Faking a southern drawl, she exclaimed “Nice shootin’, Tex!”

Chris grinned. “Alright. I’m bad,” he gloated. He started doing a weird victory dance with the guns in his hand. “I’m a badass.” Sam chuckled.

“I’m gonna go ahead and guess it was a wild case of Beginner’s Luck,” She teased.

“Nah, I don’t think so, girl,” Chris retorted, and held up the gun again. He fired and shot a distant glass bottle. Then, a squirrel climbed onto the range and began to eat some nuts lying on a barrel in the center. Chris’s hand twitched—if only at the idea barely crossing his mind to shoot it—and he shot a sack hanging from a tree a few meters away from the squirrel.

Sam laughed. “Nice shot.”

Chris grinned. “Your ass just got saaaacked!” Sam groaned.

“Hey, sharp-shooter, our ride’s coming,” she told him.

“Wait, I’m just getting the hang of this!”

“Come on, Chris, the cable car!” she insisted, and turned to walk away a few feet in the direction of the cable car. She turned around a few feet away to gesture at him, still holding the gun. Chris put it back and followed after Sam.

“Man, it’s so nice being back up here,” he said, looking around at the station.

“Yeah, I know. The moment I got back it all came flooding back. The adventures and the fresh air.”

“It’s pretty fun.” Chris opened the door to the station and gestured at Sam. “After you,”

“Ah, a real gentleman,” she swooned sarcastically. They looked over the railing of the station at the mountain.

“What a _crazy_ place to set up house, no matter how rich you are,” Chris commented, in awe of the beautiful mountain.

“They’re not so rich. They only own a mountain.” Chris turned into the station, leaving Sam to overlook the scenery. “Ugh, I though the car was closer,” she whined at him as he looked around.

“Guess we gotta wait.”

“I’m starting to get the appeal of the shooting range. How long is this gonna take?” she complained.

“It’s a big mountain.”

“Yeah.”

“Oh, finally,” same said as the cable car pulled into the station. “You coming?” she called.

“Well, I was gonna stay here and catch some Z’s, but, okay.” He entered the cable car and sat next to Sam. “Just like going to the prom,” he joked. It was funny, but Chris was never really into Sam. First of all, there was Ash, but there was more to it than that. It wasn’t like she was off-limits or anything, she was just a friend. Almost like one of the guys. Besides, Chris had the sneaking suspicion Josh had a crush on her, and he wasn’t about to betray his best friend like that. The car jostled as they started moving up the mountain.

“Here we go!” Sam exclaimed, obviously happy to finally be moving.  

“Right! Adventure begins!”

“Hell, yeah! It’s really cool of Josh to invite us all over here again, y’know? Especially since we’ve all split ways with college and everything.”

“Yeah, no, he’s super excited. Getting the gang back together and all. Me too, I haven’t seen everyone in a while.”

“Totally. It’s kind of a bummer that we’re not as big a part of each other’s lives anymore, though,” Sam said, with a somber tone.

“I mean, yeah, if you think about it that way. But, like, hey. Come on. Why don’t we spend less time being all bittersweet and sad and just, enjoy the party, y’know?”

Sam laughed and playfully punched his arm. “Yeah! Good talk, bro!” she joked.

“So. Do you know how Josh and I met?”

“No...”

“OK. Third grade. Josh sat in the back of the room, I sat in the front. We didn’t even know each other existed, but the kidding sitting next to Josh started strap snapping the training bra on the girl in front of him, so the teacher made him move to the front—where I was sitting!”

“Okay, so?” Sam asked.

“ _So_ , I got moved to the back!” Chris got more and more excited about his story.

“And?”

“And next to Josh! That’s how we met! And became friends. To this day.”

“A match made in heaven,” Sam commented.

“If it weren’t for the fact that Jeannie Simmons hit puberty like three years early and on that day decided to wear a low cut shirt that showed off her training bra? I mean who knows? You could be riding in this cable car alone. Right now. Or sitting with some other person entirely. Boom. Butterfly effect.”

 

**Jess**

                Jess sat at the top of the cable car station, cold, expectant, and writing a letter to her boyfriend. She and Mike had only gotten together a few weeks ago, and she had been into him for so long. She’d waited patiently while Emily dated the biggest hottie in the school, and now it was her turn. She wanted so, so badly for Mike to like her, so she put up a confident front. She was nervous about how everyone would react to their relationship, but it was absolutely worth it. So, she sat and waited for her boyfriend. Hearing the cable car approach, she folded up the letter and got up. “Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy. New people. Time to meet and greet.” She walked towards the cable car and jumped at a sudden bang. “Ahh! What the hell?”

“Jess! Hey!” called Chris.

“Jessica! Over here!” joined Sam.

She approached the pair, evidently standing up against the door of the cable car. “Uhh… are you guys having a really weird stroke?” she asked.

“We’re stuck in this stupid thing,” Chris told her.

“Can you please let us out? Pretty please?” asked Sam. Jess pushed a green button and released her friends from the cable car.

“Oh. My. God,” said Chris, exiting his ‘prison’, “I thought we were goners. Another ten minutes in there and I would have chewed off my own leg.”

“Aw, sick, Chris,” Sam told him.

“Look, I got a lot of meat on my bones,” Chris indicated toward his legs. “This is all muscle down here.”

Sam wasn't having any of it. “Yeah, riiiight. Uh-huh.”

Changing the subject, Chris reached for the letter to Mike that Jess had been writing just moments before and snatched it out of her hand. “Bwip!”

“Hey!”

“Well well well…what do we have here?” Chris asked, reading the envelope.

“Chris!”

“My goodness. Seems that someone has a lil’ crush on our good friend dear class president Michael Munroe.”

“Chris,” Sam said, trying to get him to stop whatever he was doing and be nice to Jess.

“Aaaand,“ he continued, “what kind of sizzling erotica might our Jessica be capable of imagining? I wonder…”

Jess was mad. She didn’t like feeling weak, and that’s just what Chris was making her do. She needed to assert herself. She stepped toward Chris. “Give that back, you tool.”

“Tool and die,” he retorted. “That’s my motto.”

Jess scoffed. “You’re such an idiot.” She snatched her letter back from Chris. “Maybe nosy Nancys shouldn’t mess around in other people’s...” she paused, searching for a word, “nostrils.”

Chris exchanged a look with Sam and said, “Uh… yeah. I try not to do that. As a rule.”

“Come on, Jess, you can tell us,” Sam prodded. “We can totally keep secrets.”

“Whatever,” Jess replied too quickly, “You’ll figure it out eventually.” She stared them down, challenging either of them to disagree.

Chris didn’t rise to the challenge. “Alright, alright, let’s just get up to the lodge already. I’m getting tired of this nature and junk.”

“Uh, you guys go ahead,” Jess told Chris, “I’m just gonna wait here for a bit, see who else is coming…”

“You mean Mike?” Chris asked.

“What? I mean, you know, whoever.” While this exchange went on, Sam walked out to the rope fence that kept her on a safe trail and looked out over the mountain.

“Uh, Sam?” Chris asked.

“Did you see this view?” She spread her arms wide. “I mean, holy cow. Sometimes I forget to just stop and take it all in.”

**Matt**

                “Seriously, couldn’t they have built the lodge like right where the cable car ends?” asked Emily, walking through yet another gate on their path up the mountain.

“I don’t think it would have been, like, as pretty, you know?” Matt responded, picking up her bags to carry up for her.

“And where’s the bellboy when you need one?” she asked. Matt winced a little. He guessed that was him. A bellboy _would_ have been nice, then he wouldn’t have had to carry twice as many things, but that was alright. He was being macho for his girlfriend. “Brr. Getting chills,” she commented as they began to walk through a covered bridge.

“We’re almost there, he told her gently.”

“We’d better be,” she answered. “Gonna be weird seeing everyone up here again.”

“Yeah, well after the initial awkwardness, I’m sure it’ll feel like a regular party. I mean, what do you think—AGH!” Something jumped right in front of them, yelling. “Woah! Dude!”

“Jesus!”

It was just Mike. He started laughing. “You guys!”

“Michael,” Emily said sternly.

“You really, really should have seen your faces right there.”

“Dude, I almost clocked you just now,” Chris told him.

“Nice one.”

“Michael, you’re a jerk,” Emily said.

“Come on guys,” Mike defended, “We’re all friends here, right? No need for violence, just a little harmless fun! We’re up in the woods. It’s spooky! Come on, let’s get into the spirit of things.”

“’The spirit of things’?” Emily repeated. “Seriously? What’s wrong with you?”

“Just trying to lighten the mood, Em. Don’t be like that.”

“Like what?”

“The way you’re being. You always get like this.”

The conversation started to make Matt uncomfortable; they were talking like they did while they were dating. The last thing Matt wanted was Emily running back into Mike’s arms. Even if they were arguing, there was something painfully familiar happening between the ex-couple. “Michael, I’m just gonna lay it out, otherwise this whole weekend’s gonna suck ass for everyone. This is super awkward, and we all know it. Let’s just acknowledge it now and move on, OK?”

“Matt,” Emily started.

“I hear you, man,’’ Mike interrupted. “I get it. I don’t wanna make this weird.

“Cool. So we’re good?”

“All good.”

“You guys gonna make out now?” Emily asked.

“Oh my God, totally, we’re sooooo gonna make out!” Mike responded. “Uhh…no. Seriously, I’m gonna go check on the cable car back down the trail.”

“See ya, man,” Matt said.

“See ya.”

“Alright.”

“See ya!” Mike yelled one last time, and walked back. Matt bent to pick up the bags.

“Aw, crap.” Emily said.

“What?”

“Hey, could you take these the rest of the way?”

“The bags?”

“Yeah. Just, all the bags.”

“Uh, why?”

“I need to go find Sam.”

“Okay…?”

“Sorry, I just… I really need to go find her… I totally forgot I needed to talk to her before we get all the way up there.”

“This really can’t wait? We’re almost there.”

“It’s important, Matt, please.”

Matt didn’t really trust her—it definitely looked like an excuse to go talk to Mike one-on-one, but he knew that if he told her that, she’d get offended and angry, even if he was right. So her let her go, and continued up the trail.

**Ashley**

Ashley stood on the observation tower, looking through the binoculars at the trails on the mountain. She scanned the scene, until she landed on something. Two people having a conversation. They looked pretty familiar—Mike and Emily. They were talking about something, then Mike put his hands on Emily’s cheeks. “Somebody’s getting a little friendly,” Ashley muttered to herself. “And not in the friend zone kind of way. They might need to check the expiration date on their big break-up.” Suddenly, a face appeared directly in front of the binoculars and screamed. Ashley jumped. “Oh, God.”

It was just Matt. He laughed. “Hey, woah, sorry there. Sorry about that Ash. I didn’t mean to scare you,” he said, walking up to greet her.

“Geez Louise, Matt.”

“Well, I did mean to scare you sort of scare you, but not like for real scare you.”

“Oh my gosh, oh my gosh!” Ashley hit his chest.

“Hey, wow, man. I’m really sorry, Ash. Damn.”

“It’s okay, it’s fine. It’s fine.”

Matt decided to change the subject. “What are you looking at? See anything juicy with that thing? Lemme check it out.”

Ashley hesitated. She didn’t know whether to tell Matt about what just happened between his girlfriend and her ex, but in the end decided he had the right to know. “Um, sure. Uh, go ahead. Knock yourself out, I guess.”

“Aw, son of a bitch. Seriously. Emily? What the hell, man?”

“Hey, listen, it’s probably nothing.”

“Nothing? You think?”

“Well, yeah.”

“Is it ever just nothing with Em? Ever”

“I don’t know, I-“

“Goddammit.” He got up from the binoculars and walked away.

“Matt,” Ashley called after him, then followed down herself.

**Jess**

Jess reached to check her phone, when a snowball collided with the wall next to her. She laughed, and looked up. “You did not just do that,” She told the culprit, Mike, as he approached her.

“Put your hands where I can see them, we got ya surrounded,” he told her, in what was possibly the world’s worst cowboy voice. Jess complied, walking forward.

“But who am I to retaliate? What choice do I, a supple young rebel girl, have, but to surrender to the strapping young military guard come to take me into custody?” She eyeballed a snowball up on the fence and cautiously approached it. She picked it up and slyly held it behind her back.

“I-well, I dunno,” Mike said. “When you put it like that—hey!” Jess ran and giggled, packing the snowball even tighter as she did so. She threw it mid run and hit him square in the face. “Oh!” She laughed. “Great.” This was, of course, a declaration of all-out war, and the snowball fight commenced. Jess kicked Mike’s butt, and she was really really happy. Running around, playing in the snow with her boyfriend—it was a good time. She felt so natural in that moment, she wasn’t worried about who she was or what face she put on—just hitting mike in the face with tightly packed snow. In the end, he tackled her to the ground and his face lingered just above hers as he held himself on top of her. They flirted, briefly, and then he brought his face closer to hers and kissed her. Passionately.

“Wow, save some for later, buddy.”

“Endless reserves. We should get up to the lodge.”


	2. Frozen Buns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone knows Chris has a crush on Ashley (except for Ashley), and everyone also happens to be fucking freezing. Just open the door, already.

**Chris**

“Man, I feel like this mountain gets bigger every time I climb it,” complained Chris.

“Oh, yeah?” Josh grinned. “Feels the same to me.”

“Come on, you grew up here. It probably feels like it’s shrinking.”

“I guess that’s true.”

Chris held up his phone, trying to get some reception. “When are you gonna install some cell towers around here? I’m getting withdrawals already.”

“You got a spare million lying around and I’ll fix you right up.”

“Funny you should say that—“ Chris patted his pockets. “Ah, I think I left it in my other jacket.”

Josh laughed. “Oops.” He turned to greet the people sitting and freezing their butts off on the steps leading up to the house—Ashley, Matt, the twins, and Sam. “Hey, guys.” The greeting was mostly directed at Ashley and Matt, because Sam had gone off and tackled Hannah to the ground in a bear hug, while Beth stood off a little bit surveying. It didn’t last long, though, and a hand shot out (Sam’s? It was hard to tell) and grabbed Beth by the wrist and pulled her into the pile of girls and snow. Chris was sure that if 2/3 of the girl pile wasn’t Josh’s sisters, he would have made a joke about wanting to be in on it.  “Get up here okay?” Josh asked Matt and Ashley.

“Yeah, well, more or less,” Ashley admitted. “But it is so good to see you!” Oh, God. There was Ashley, sitting prettily on the steps, being sweet as ever. Chris stared at her for a moment, taking her in. He was excited to spend time with her. Chris was so enamored by Ashley he didn’t even notice Matt brooding to the side. But Josh did.

“’Sup with him?” he asked.

“Girlfriend problems. Somebody was getting a little too touchy-feely with their ex,” Ashley told him.

“Ouch,” Josh sympathized.

Everybody was freezing. It was damn cold up there, and Chris could not stand one more second outside in this fucking cold. He walked up to Josh. “Yo yo yo, are we gonna get things moving up here or what?” he asked.

“Yeah, man!” He walked up to the door and tried to open it, to no avail. “Dammit! This freaking ting.”

“It’s iced?”

“What else?”

“Maybe there’s another way in.”

“There are a million ways in, they’re just all locked.”

“There’s gotta be, like, a window around the corner we can get, like, get open, or something.”

“Wait a second. Are you saying we should break in?” Josh asked with a fake seriousness.

“I don’t think it’s technically breaking in, if you own the place, right?”

“Hey. Not if I don’t report you,” he joked. Josh’s deadpan was always excellent. He grinned at the flustered Chris. “Lead the way, Cochise!”

Chris turned and walked down the stairs. He stopped by Ashley at the bottom of the stairs.

“Hey, Ash.”

“Hi, Chris.” Chris swore he could feel Josh simultaneously staring daggers into his back and wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

“You doin’ alright?”

“Yeah, aside from being cold,” she told him in a teasingly passive aggressive manner.

“Yeah, I should… I should probably go break into his house now. Swoop to the rescue, and all.”

“ _Go_. Swoop. I’m cold.” And with that, Chris walked off. He sighed internally. He would get a chance to flirt with Ashley later. When she wasn’t freezing to death. He turned in the opposite direction of the house, though, towards the gate to the trail, where Matt was brooding and Sam happily chatted with her best friends.

“Dude, what are you doing?” asked Josh. “I thought you were supposed to be—what was it, ‘swooping?’—to your lady love’s rescue.”

“I _am._ I just gotta say hi to the twins first. I haven’t seen them yet, they were so swept up with Sam. Speaking of which, I am mortally offended that you said hi to Sam before me. We arrived at the same time, and you’re my best friend. I’m wounded. I doubt our friendship will ever recover from this fatal blow.”

“Relax, Chris. Did you see that pile of screeching and giggling? I had to say hi to Sam before my sisters came in, or I’d _never_ be able to.”

“Whatever, man. You can make it up to me by way of food later.”

“Sounds good to me.”

“Matt!” Chris called. “…Been a while.” Josh cringed. Sometimes Chris’s awkwardness was painful. “Rough season, huh?”

“Yeah. Somethin’ like that.”

“So, uh, you and Emily. That…happening?”

Matt let out a short laugh, then turned broody. “Define ‘happening.’”

“You know, like, together?”

“I mean, it’s— ‘happening’, but I’m not really sure what it is.”

Chris awkwardly punched his arm. “Uh, well, hang in there, buddy. I’m gonna say hi to the twins. Beth, Hannah!” he called. They looked up from their conversation with Sam. “Hey! How you been?”

Hannah ran up to hug Chris and Beth followed, while Sam hung back. Josh took his place at her side, as they began to chat.

“Chris!” called Hannah. “Long time, no, see. How are things?”

“Things are good.”

Hannah shook her head. “No, no, no.” She wiggled her eyebrows. “ _Things._ ”

Now Chris was just confused. “What things?”

“Ignore her,” Beth told him. “It’s good to see you, Chris. What’s up?”

“Nothing much. Just freezing my ass out in the middle of nowhere with,” he raised his voice so Josh could hear him, “ _no phone service.”_

“Yeah, yeah,” Josh called. “Let me know when you find that ‘other jacket’.”

“Hey, Chris!” Sam called. “Get over here.” He walked down to join Sam and Josh at the gate, and the twins followed. “So…you seen Ash yet?”

“Umm, yeah?” Hannah giggled.

“Cool. Cool. Cool. How’s, uh, how’s she doin’?” Sam asked.

“She’s fine,” he told her. “Why?” Hannah giggled again. Josh made eye contact with Beth from across the small group as the vague interrogation proceeded.

“No reason,” she said, and turned to the twins once more.

“Umm, that was weird,” he told Josh as they walked back up to the house.

Josh laughed and shook his head. “You’re a dumbass, you know that Cochise? Now come on, we can’t let these fine ladies freeze to death.” They walked around the house in silence, before Josh interrupted it, saying “Ashley was looking pretty hot today, right? She’s like a sleeper it kind of gal, you know? Now I just wanna rip that parka right off her and make some snow angels, right?”

“Hey, cut it out, man.”

“I mean, if you’re not gonna bang her, maybe Mike will take up the case.”

“W-will you back off already?”

“Relax, I’m just checkin’ to see if there’s some blood flowin’ down there.” Josh laughed.

“Ch, yeah.”

Josh sighed. Obviously, Chris wasn’t getting it. “Listen, dude. Look around you. Look at these beautiful mountains. Do you see any parents? I mean, can you imagine a more perfect, ripe scenario just dripping with erotic possibilities? You and Ashley, alone at last! You’ve laid all the groundwork. You’ve been a perfect gentleman. Now, you come in for the kill!”

“I don’t know, man…”

Josh was getting frustrated. “How can you not know?”

“But what if it’s, like, weird, and what if she might not, like, wanna be friends with me anymore, if I try something like that.”

“I mean, weren’t you just listening?” Josh asked. “You gotta buck up, bro. Grow a pair,” Josh said, walking onwards. Chris sighed and followed him. “So, how are we planning on breaking into my parents’ lodge, bud?”

“Wait, I didn’t say _I_ had a plan,” Chris protested.

“You sounded like you had a plan. You better deliver, Cochise, or else you got six lovely ladies who are going to be freezing their buns off, and last time I checked, that’s not a good way to get laid.”

“Dude, two of those ‘lovely ladies’ are your sisters.”

“Yeah, but they aren’t _your_ sisters, now are they? So hurry up. Freezing buns.”

“Well, shoot. Nobody likes cool buns.”

Chris approached a container on the side of the house, that happened to be just a little ways off from beneath a window. He went to one side and began to push it, Josh joining in on the other side. “Well, well, well. We’ve got ourselves a thinker. Nice one.” They dragged the container to just beneath the window, where it provided a useful foothold. They stepped back and admired their handiwork, when Josh waved Chris forward. Chris lifted himself onto the container, nearly fell off, the pried the window open. He then hoisted himself through the window, where he fell unceremoniously on the floor inside the house.

“Ugh, ow! I’m okay!” Josh leaned through the window to see Chris splayed on the floor. “I should have paid more attention in climbing class,” Chris muttered.

“You mean gym?” Josh asked.

“Yeah, you know, with the climbing up the rope,” Chris winced as he got up.

“Woah, Chris, I just got an awesome idea. Do you have a lighter on you?”

“No.”

“Here, use this.” Josh grabbed a lighter from his pocket and tossed it at Chris. “Ok. So, I am pretty sure that I’ve got some deodorant in one of the bathrooms…you could use _that_ with the _lighter_.”

“I don’t—I don’t follow. How’s a stick of deodorant gonna help?” Chris asked.

“Spray on. It’s a can.”

“Oooooh, yeahhhh, now I gotcha.”

“Flamethrower.”

“Just like we do with the lil’ army dudes.”

“Yup, the ones we melted. Just point the spray can at the lighter and FWOOSH.”

“Bye-bye, frozen lock.”

“Bingo. Alright, so you got this. I’m gonna go sort something out. You up for hunting around alone for a little bit?”

Chris shrugged. “Nope, But I’ll do it.”

“God speed, pilgrim,” Josh saluted in a cheesy John Wayne imitation, and left the window for Chris to open the door.

 

**Josh**

Josh walked back to the entrance of the house, waiting for Chris to open the door for him. Sam walked up to him. “So, can we go inside, now? I’m freezing.”

“I’ve got my best man on it right now.”

“Chris? Oh, no. We’re doomed. It’s been nice knowing you, soldier.” Sam mocked a salute.

“Hey, cut him some slack. He’s a man on a mission. If he fails, that’ll meaning letting down Ash, and—well, nothing is more motivating to a man than his own dick, lemme tell you.”

“Ew, I’ll take your word for it. I swear to God, they’d better get together on this trip.”

“Have no fear, Sammy. Josh is here with booze and mood lighting.”

“Oh, thank goodness. Imagine what would happen if that backfires. Ash hooks up with Mike. _Chris_ hooks up with Mike.”

“What’s so special about Mike?”

“Go ask Hannah. She’ll tell you, if you have three hours to kill.”

“Damn. I thought she was over it after he was being a dick.”

“I get the feeling she’s still excited about spending some quality time with him up here. I mean look at this place. It’s beautiful. The best place for romance to bloom.” Josh looked at the snowflakes gathering in Sam’s hair.

“Yeah, not only is it pretty outdoors, but the fireplace is a nice cozy spot to cuddle.” They paused for a moment, and Josh couldn’t push the image of Sam cuddled in his arms by the fire from his mind.

Finally, Sam broke the silence. “Yeah. Chris and Ash are gonna have a good time.”

“Chris and Ash, yeah. Even if we have to force it upon them.”

“Yeah. Lock them up in a closet and not let them out until they’re kissing.”

“Ha! They’d probably starve to death, first. Chris is such a wimp.”

Sam laughed. “Speaking of which, he put a pretty manly display on for me today, at the bottom of the cable car station.” Josh made a face. “No! Not _that_ kind of manly display. Ew, gross. I mean, he found a, uh, a shooting range.”

“Oh, yeah! Man, I haven’t been down there in a while. Nearly forgot it existed. Yeah, my dad used to take me down there all the time. Teach me to hunt before, you know, doing the real thing.”

“So, you’ve killed some woodland creatures before?” Sam asked.

“Well, yeah, my dad’s taken me on a few hunting trips before. Sorry, Sammy.”

“Josh. That’s disgusting. You probably killed Bambi’s mother,” she mocked.

“Hey, Sam!” Beth called. She was standing at the stairs with Hannah, Ashley, and Matt. “What are you up to? Can we go inside yet or what?”

Sam turned to Beth. “Did you know that your brother probably killed Bambi’s mom?”

“What?” asked Hannah. “Josh, you monster! Bambi was such a sad movie. God, I cried so hard when his mom died.”

“Hey, lay off ladies. Hunting is a thing that guys do. Right, Matt?” Jos asked, approaching the steps to the house.

“I mean—I don’t really do hunting. Ask Mike, though,” Matt said bitterly. “He probably does all sorts of manly stuff like that.”

“See, Sammy?” Josh asked. “Hunting is a normal dudely dude thing.”

“Josh, you didn’t prove anything. Just that Mike _might maybe_ do it.” Sam stuck out her tongue at him. It was cute.

Ashley, losing patience, exclaimed “We’re freezing our buns off out here!” Just then, they could make out Chris walking up to the through the window. He took a step back from the handle and torched it, the orange glow lighting up his face and reflecting off his glasses. He then got up and reached for the doorknob, quickly pulling it open. It burned him, and he shook his hand wildly after flinging it open to the girls, Josh, and Matt.

“Thank you, thank you, thank you. I’ll be here all week,” he said, bowing. The impression was lessened by the fact that he was still blowing on and shaking his slightly burned hand.

“Oh, thank God,” said Ashley, and they entered the lodge.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Washingtons are here and they finally entered the lodge! Lemme tell ya, I'm doing some hardcore research into these characters. I'm gonna get this shit /right/. Even the dead Washington girls. Imonna try and update weekly, but as my interest dwindles, we'll see. I'll (probably) see y'all next Sunday.


	3. Arguing Couples and Nonexistent Couples

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few things:  
> 1) a Heathers AU where Sam is Veronica and Josh is JD???? Any takers?  
> 2) finally, this story is becoming mine. Get ready, soon this'll be 100% noncanonical  
> 3) This isn't going to be super slow burn and I'm sorry. Sam is the kind of girl who, if she wanted to date Josh, she would go get it. No Chris/Ash dancing around the issue for her, no sir.

**Hannah**

Thank goodness—the lights were on as they entered the lodge, but the heat had only been turned on recently, and the building still had a distinct chill. “Home, sweet home,” Josh said as he walked in, dumping his bags on the side of the door.

“Oh my gosh, it’s _so_ good to be inside,” said Ashley. “Even if it’s still kinda freezing in here.”

“I’ll get a fire going,” Josh told her.

Hannah walked up to Ashley, and Beth flanked her on the other side. “A fire,” Hannah muttered in a sing-songy voice. “Isn’t that romantic?”

“You mean with Josh? I don’t-” she was cut off by Beth elbowing her in the ribs.

“No, not with _Josh_ , dumbass,” she told her. “With Chris. Josh has somebody else-”

“Imagine,” Hannah cut her twin off, “you two all snuggled and cozy together…”

“He has his arm around you…”

Ashley sighed. “Yeah.”

Beth punched her arm and Hannah pushed her in Chris’s direction. “Go get him, tiger.” And the twins walked off to join Sam, before Ashley could protest the idea of “getting him”.

She was about to, too, but at that moment Mike burst open the doors to the lodge. “What’s up, party people?” He whooped.

“Hey,” waved Jess confidently behind him. Matt’s head snapped up and he stared down Mike.

“Make yourself at home, bro,” Josh told him, hunched over the fireplace.

Mike shot finger guns at him. “Will do.”

“Yeah,” Matt interrupted. “Come on in. Take a load off. Have whatever you want.” He got up off the sofa and crossed to Mike. “You just take whatever you want, anyways, right?”

“Woah,” Mike backed up. “Easy there, cowboy.”

“What the hell were you doing with Em out on the trail?”

“What?” At this point, everyone in the room was watching them. Even Josh, who had stopped fire-making, to watch everything transpire.

“I saw you and Em,” Matt continued. “Through the telescope.”

“Before?” Mike asked. “We just ran into each other. It’d been a while, so we hugged and said hello. Is that against the law?”

Matt froze for a second, and obviously embarrassed, apologized. “Right. Yeah. Duh. Sorry, it’s been kind of a long day, I overreacted,” he laughed embarrassedly.

“Nah, man,” Mike told him. “Don’t worry about it.”

“We cool?”

“Yeah, yeah. Totally.” They separated, Mike making his way next to Emily on the couch. He put his arm around her and pulled her closer. Hannah winced a little bit. That could have been _her_. But the gentle nudge that Sam gave her reminded her that she was over Mike; he was a dick.

That, plus Beth leaning over and whispering to her, “See? Mike is nothing but a drama attracting girl-hopper.” Hannah nodded.

As if to prove Beth’s point, Emily busted in the door. “Oh, my God. That is so gross,” she said, watching Mike and Jess make out on the couch. “Are you trying to swallow his face whole?”

“Em,” Matt warned.

“Seriously, can she be any more obvious?” Emily continued. “No one wants in on your territory, honey,” she proclaimed, shooting a quick glance at Hannah, who nodded.

Jess got up off the couch and approached Emily. “Excuse me, did you say something?”

“Oh, did you not hear me? Was your sluttiness too loud?”

“Sounds like someone’s bitter she didn’t make the cut.”

“Yeah. It’s all a big cattle call with the dream boat. Congratulations, you’re top cow.”

Hannah nodded again. It was true, and it had taken her a while to hear it. She was glad Emily was being a bitch about it and saying all these things, the two had become unlikely friends in wake of their breakup. They were at a party, getting drunk, and they found themselves talking to each other. Hannah was still a little sore about the prank, but Emily had told her to get the fuck over it, and she did. They got over Mike together, drunkenly insulting him and long after that, too. Yeah, Sam and Beth helped, but they didn’t get it. They didn’t understand what it was like to be in love with Mike. Beth liked girls, and Sam… Well, Sam was preoccupied with someone else. Not that she herself knew it, but Beth and Hannah sure did.

“Cuts real deep, calling Miss Homecoming a cow,” Jess shot at Emily.

“Hey, you’re making everyone uncomfortable, Jess,” Matt tried to interject.

“Jealous, much?” Jess asked. “Emily too frigid for you, too?”

“Hey, that’s—that’s uncalled—look—“

 “Whatever. I don’t give a crap what you think.”

“At least I _can_ think. 4.0, bitch. Honor roll. Suck on that when you’re trying to sleep your way into a job.”

“Who needs grades when you got all the natural advantages you can handle?”

“Oh, please.” Em rolled her eyes.

“You couldn’t buy a moldy piece of bread with your skanky ass.”

Em laughed. “Are you serious? Do you think that’s insulting?”

Jess turned to Mike and gestured at Emily. “That bitch is on crack or something.”

“Jessica, you need to shut your mouth, okay?” Matt told her.

“No,” Jess yelled. “You’re the one who needs to keep your nose out of other people’s business!”

“I’m about to get right up in _your_ business, you bitch!” Emily countered.

“Are we about to get real? ‘Cause I am down to get real!”

“Stop it!” Josh yelled, making everyone quiet. “This is not why we came up here. This is not what I wanted, it’s not what Beth or Han wanted tonight, either.” Beth and Hannah nodded in agreement. “If we can’t get along for ten minutes, then maybe we need a little bit of a break, right? Mike—why don’t you check out the guest cabin, the one I told you about.”

Mike got up and crossed to Jess. “Yeah. Yeah, alright. Wanna go do that?” he asked Jess.

“Any place without that whore,” Jess answered, taking his hand.

As they left the room, Josh called after them, “It’s right up the trail.”

After Mike and Jess had gone, Matt gestured to his head and made an explosion noise. “Glad that’s over,” he added.

“Yeah,” Josh agreed.

Matt approached him. “So, Josh, uh… should we get this fire going?”

“Where’s my bag?” Emily interrupted, looking at the luggage Matt brought in.

“Huh?”

“My bag! The, the little bag with the pink pattern! The one I got on Rodeo! Matt, are you listening?” Matt didn’t respond. “Oh my God, don’t you remember? Next to the Italian shoe place where I got my stilettos and you knocked over the rack while you were drooling over that girl at the counter?”

This time, Matt was quick to respond. “Well, I mean, she was asking about my letter jacket-”

Emily cut him off. “Right, because you really think she gave a shit about your “designer” letter jacket.”

“Why do you hate my jacket?” Matt asked.

“Matt, I need my bag!”

“Oh my God, Em. Maybe you just forgot it.”

“Do you seriously think I’d forget my bag?” Emily countered.

“Well, I-”

“Do you?” She pressed.

“…Guess not.”

“You must have left it down at the cable car station.” Matt groaned. “Come on, hon! We’ll be back soon.

“And then we can get warm?” Matt asked.

Emily looked at him tenderly and lustily. “We can get _very_ warm.”

“Okay,” Matt agreed. “Okay! Let’s go.” And with that, they left, leaving the Washingtons, Sam, Ashley, and Chris alone in the lodge.

Sam abruptly stood up. “Okay! I’m gonna go take a bath,” she announced, and receded up the stairs. Well. That left the Washingtons and Ashley and Chris. Josh was busy making the fire, so Hannah decided to push Ashley and Chris together the best way she knew without directly doing anything: isolation. She attached herself to Beth, ensuring that Chris and Ashley had nobody to talk to about that.

“I sure am glad I’m not a part of _that_ ,” Hannah told her sister.

“Yeah. What a mess.”

“Honestly, I’d rather be on Emily’s good side than not.”

“Yeah, honey. I love you, Han, you know that, but I’m gonna be honest when I tell you that girl would have ripped you to shreds had you been in Jess’s place.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m glad we’re friends.”

“Me, too. You need someone strong like Emily on your side.”

“I have people!” Hannah protested. “You’re strong! Sam’s strong!”

“That we are, Hannah. But Emily’s a bitch. And _that’s_ what you need. That level of tough love.”

“ _You’re_ a bitch,” Hannah mumbled.

Beth smacked her. “Am not. I’m just telling you things you need to hear.” Hannah shot a glance over her shoulder at Ashley and Chris. Beth noticed and looked at them. “Aw, that’s cute. They’re chatting. Who wants to bet he’s _not_ professing his undying love for her right now?”

“But wouldn’t it be so dreamy if he was? This is the place for it, too! I can tell. Love is in the air at Blackwood!”

“The only couples here are in such a weird and entangled drama plot, I feel like ‘love’ isn’t the word they’d use. Maybe ‘loathing’. Or ‘jealousy’. ‘Skankiness’. Actually, definitely ‘skankiness’.”

“Come on, Beth. What kind of attitude is that? You’re such a cynic. They’ll get together. I’ll _make_ them.”

“You and just about everyone else on this mountain. Sam’s in on it. Josh is in on it. E-“

Hannah cut her off. “Oh, they’d better not be spending all of their time here trying to get their _friends_ together instead of each other. You’ve seen the way our brother has been looking at my best friend, right? When’s he finally gonna make that happen?”

“I wouldn’t worry too much about them. Josh and Sam _aren’t_ Chris and Ash. If they want to go out, they’ll go out. Don’t read into it too much, Han.”

“I know, I just—wouldn’t it be cool if Sam and Josh got married? Then we’d be sisters-in-law and she’d literally be a part of the family and-“

Beth cut her babbling twin off. “Enough, Han. They’re _not_ gonna get married. Hooking up? A completely different matter altogether. Let’s just sit back and watch.”

“But that’s no fun,” Hannah protested. “The not getting married part and the not getting together part.”

“There are more ways than one to have fun up here on the mountain, and both you and I know it, Han. Now, where the hell did Josh leave the booze?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who's ready to PARTAY

**Author's Note:**

> So! That's episode one! It took forever! And it was really boring! Because I was pretty much just transcribing! Hooray! Soon, I'll take over, though, and you'll probably see the characterizations and writing quality going down the drain. But that's ok, cause it's a fanfic. Characterizations are supposed to be complete crap in fanfics. Anyway, soon we'll meet the Washingtons! (Which is concerning, because writing Beth and Hannah is probably gonna be just a lot of guessing and awfulness)


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